Most people think of domestic abuse as physical violence. But there’s a more subtle — and insidious — form of control that’s just as damaging: coercive control.
Coercive control is often enacted by men who control women. This article will discuss what coercive control is, how it shows up in relationships, and how it affects women.
Keep reading to learn more about this form of abuse, which disproportionately affects women and is gaining wider recognition as a serious social problem.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviors designed to isolate, exploit, and control another person. It’s a deliberate strategy, not just a few isolated incidents. It’s a form of domestic abuse and a violation of human rights. It violates a person’s basic liberty and autonomy.
The tactics used in coercive control can include:
- Isolating the victim from friends and family
- The tactics used in coercive control can include: Depriving the victim of basic needs, including physical intimacy.
- Humiliating and degrading the victim
- Intimidation and threats
- Financial abuse
- Monitoring and online surveillance
As Evan Stark wrote in his 2007 book Coercive Control, “the victim becomes captive in an unreal world created by the abuser, entrapped in a world of confusion, contradiction and fear.”
RECOGNIZING THE SIGNS: HOW TO IDENTIFY COERCIVE CONTROL
Coercive control isn’t a one-time thing; it’s a pattern. You’re looking for a consistent pattern of controlling behavior, not isolated incidents.
So, what does that look like in real life? Some telltale signs include:
- The victim seems to be increasingly isolated and withdrawn from friends and family.
- The victim is visibly afraid or anxious around the controlling person.
- The victim’s access to money, transportation, or ways to communicate with others is being limited or cut off.
- The victim’s decisions are constantly second-guessed or overruled.
Don’t forget that technology plays a role, too. Abusers often use technology to monitor communications, track location, or control a person’s online activity.
Recognizing these signs is crucial. The sooner you spot them, the sooner you can intervene and get help.
The gendered reality: Statistics and trends
Coercive control is a crime, and a disturbingly gendered one at that. The statistics paint a stark picture:
- In England and Wales, police recorded 43,774 offenses of coercive control in the year ending March 2023. This number has risen steadily in recent years.
- Men make up an overwhelming majority of those convicted. 97.7% of offenders convicted of controlling or coercive behavior were male in the year ending March 2023.
Data from Merseyside Police highlights the gender disparity further. 95% of coercive control victims were women, while 74% of perpetrators were men. And 76% of coercive control cases happened between intimate partners.
It’s important to acknowledge that men can be victims of coercive control, but the numbers clearly show that this form of abuse disproportionately affects women. Research also suggests that the abuse reported by women is far more likely to be classified as coercive control. For example, one study found that 30% of abuse reported by female respondents could be classified as coercive control, compared to only 6% of abuse reported by male respondents.
In the year ending March 2023, 566 offenders were convicted of controlling or coercive behavior, a number that underscores the seriousness with which the legal system is beginning to address this insidious form of abuse.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the word for men having power over women?
There isn’t one single word, but several terms describe men having power over women. “Patriarchy” refers to a social system where men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property. “Misogyny” refers to the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women. “Male dominance” describes a social structure where men have a disproportionate amount of power and influence.
What causes a man to be so controlling?
Controlling behavior in men stems from a complex interplay of factors. If you’re concerned about your own behavior, consider taking an “Am I Controlling?” relationship quiz. Insecurity and low self-esteem can drive a need to dominate and manipulate others. Learned behaviors, such as witnessing controlling dynamics in their family of origin, can also contribute. Societal norms and gender stereotypes that reinforce male dominance can play a role, as can mental health issues like personality disorders.
What is the word for men controlling women?
Again, there isn’t one single, perfect word. “Control,” itself, is the most direct term. “Domination” describes the act of exerting power over someone. “Manipulation” refers to using underhanded tactics to influence someone’s behavior. “Coercion” involves using force or threats to make someone do something against their will. The best term depends on the specific context and behaviors involved.
Why do men feel ownership over women?
The feeling of ownership over women is rooted in deeply ingrained societal attitudes and power imbalances. Historically, women have been viewed as property or possessions. These attitudes, while outdated, can still influence some men’s perceptions and behaviors. Insecurity, a need for control, and a lack of respect for women’s autonomy can also contribute to this harmful sense of ownership.
In closing
It’s important to recognize that coercive control is a serious form of abuse. It’s not just a “bad relationship,” but a pattern of control and domination. Understanding the difference between healthy dominance and control, like differentiating alpha male traits in bed from abusive behaviors, is crucial.
We need more awareness and understanding of what coercive control is and what it looks like. Educate your friends, your family, and your community about the signs and the impact it can have.
If you think you may be a victim of coercive control, please seek help. There are resources available, and you are not alone. Coercive control is a crime.