Marriage is complicated. Not only that, but no two marriages are exactly alike. In fact, there are many kinds of marriage, and satisfaction levels vary from one couple to the next.
Knowing the different kinds of marriage is helpful when trying to understand your own relationship or the relationships of those around you. It can also give you insight into what you want from a relationship.
This article will explore different classifications of marriage, the factors that influence marital satisfaction, and how marriage is changing in today’s society.
We’ll look at research-based categories of marriage, as well as more subjective perspectives on marital happiness. We’ll also consider different kinds of modern marriage, like open marriages and arranged marriages.
Whether you’re thinking about getting married, are already married, or are just curious, this article has something for you.
Classifying Marriages: Five Models Based on Satisfaction
Sociologists have identified five distinct marriage models based on the satisfaction levels reported by each partner. They range from the depths of unhappiness to the heights of marital bliss.
Devitalized and Conflicted Marriages
Devitalized couples are those who report the lowest levels of satisfaction. They often are younger, less educated, and more likely than other couples to consider divorce. They may have once had a satisfying relationship, but it has since deteriorated.
Conflicted marriages, on the other hand, are marked by frequent arguments and disagreements. While not quite as unhappy as devitalized couples, they still experience significant stress and strain on their relationship.
Traditional and Harmonious Marriages
Traditional marriages are those in which partners adhere to conventional gender roles and expectations. The husband is typically the primary breadwinner, while the wife is responsible for homemaking and childcare. Satisfaction levels in these marriages can vary, depending on how well the partners align with these traditional roles.
Harmonious couples generally report high marital satisfaction. They are often older, more educated, and economically stable. These couples tend to share similar values and goals, and they enjoy spending time together. A significant percentage report overall satisfaction in the marriage.
Vitalized Marriages
Vitalized couples are the gold standard, exhibiting the highest levels of satisfaction. They are characterized by strong communication, effective conflict resolution skills, and a deep sense of connection.
These couples rarely consider divorce and report high levels of happiness and fulfillment in their marriage. A very high percentage of these couples never once consider divorce, virtually all report satisfaction, and none face the agony of separation.
Alternative ways to think about marriage
Marriage researchers have recently started using labels that go beyond satisfaction levels. Here are some of the models they’ve come up with:
Work-Based Marriage
In this model, marriage is approached as a joint enterprise. The couple focuses on shared goals and responsibilities. They measure success by whether they achieve practical objectives, such as financial stability or raising children who go on to be successful adults.
Ritualistic Marriage
These couples emphasize tradition, ceremony, and social expectations. They prioritize stability and adherence to societal norms. These marriages may look very traditional from the outside, but the partners may be deeply unhappy.
Playful Marriage
These couples focus on fun, adventure, and shared experiences. They prioritize novelty and excitement. They may take a lot of vacations together, pursue unusual hobbies, or engage in adventurous sexual activities.
Communal Marriage
These couples share a deep sense of connection, intimacy, and shared identity. They prioritize spending time together and supporting each other’s needs. They may feel that any time away from their spouse is “wasted.” They are likely to be deeply involved in each other’s lives and to share many of the same friends.
Of course, most real-life marriages are a mix of these models, with one or two styles predominating.
The Evolving Landscape of Marriage in America
Marriage in America is changing as demographics shift and social attitudes evolve. One major factor is the prevalence of divorce. The overall marriage dissolution rate in the U.S. hovers around 40%, and second marriages are even more likely to end in divorce. Over 60% of second marriages fail.
Another trend is that more people are delaying marriage or deciding to skip it altogether. In 2021, a record 25% of 40-year-olds had never been married. That’s the highest percentage ever recorded.
Increasingly, Americans view marriage as a personal choice rather than a social obligation. We generally marry for love, but the support systems that keep marriages together are often complicated and hard to navigate.
These changes are reshaping the kinds of marriages we see today and how we think about the institution of marriage in general. It’s likely that marriage will continue to evolve as society changes.
Factors Influencing Marital Happiness and Longevity
What makes a marriage succeed? While there’s no magic formula, some factors are consistently linked to happier and longer-lasting unions.
First, effective communication is vital. Being open, honest, and respectful with your partner creates trust and helps you work through disagreements constructively. If you can’t talk openly, problems can fester and grow.
Second, shared values, goals, and interests create compatibility and connection. Couples who agree on the big things in life—beliefs, priorities, and dreams for the future—are more likely to find lasting happiness together. It’s important to have common ground.
Finally, adaptability and resilience are key for navigating life’s inevitable challenges. Successful couples can adjust to changing circumstances and support each other through tough times. Life throws curveballs, so being able to roll with the punches together is essential.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is marriage anxiety?
Marriage anxiety refers to feelings of worry, nervousness, or fear associated with getting married or being in a marriage. It can stem from various factors, including concerns about commitment, financial stability, or the future of the relationship. It’s pretty common, and often treatable with communication and, if necessary, professional help.
What are the five types of married couples?
While there are many ways to categorize couples, some common types include conflict-avoidant couples (those who suppress disagreement), validating couples (those who acknowledge each other’s perspectives), volatile couples (those who engage in passionate arguments), hostile couples (those with frequent negativity), and harmonious couples (those who have similar interests and values). Keep in mind these are broad generalizations, and real-life relationships are more complex.
What are the three major types of marriage?
Sociologists often identify three major types of marriage: monogamy (one partner), polygyny (one man with multiple wives), and polyandry (one woman with multiple husbands). Monogamy is the most common form in many parts of the world, while polygamy is practiced in certain cultures and religions.
What are 8 types of marriage?
Expanding on the basics, you could consider types like: 1. Arranged marriage (where families choose partners), 2. Companionate marriage (focused on friendship and intimacy), 3. Covenant marriage (with stricter divorce rules), 4. Civil marriage (legal recognition only), 5. Common-law marriage (recognized after a period of cohabitation), 6. Same-sex marriage, 7. Open marriage (consensual non-monogamy), and 8. Traditional marriage (roles based on gender norms). Remember, these are just labels to help understand different relationship dynamics.
In Summary
Marriage comes in many forms, each with its own particular strengths and challenges. Most marriages blend aspects of multiple types and evolve through different phases over time.
Understanding these different kinds of marriage can offer useful insights into how your relationship works and help you assess if you’re ready for a relationship. After all, happiness in marriage tends to correspond with overall happiness in life.
By recognizing the complexity of marriage, couples can focus on building stronger, more satisfying partnerships.