Having standards in a relationship isn’t about being demanding; it’s about setting a dating standards list to find love and avoid settling. It’s about knowing your worth and what you need to be happy and healthy with another person.
It’s important to understand the difference between healthy standards and unrealistic expectations. Standards are about core values and behaviors, like honesty and respect. Expectations are about specific actions or outcomes, like “She should text me back within 10 minutes” or “She should always agree with me.”
This article provides a list of standards for a girlfriend. It’s designed to help you understand what you deserve in a relationship, promote self-respect, and create healthy relationship dynamics.
Foundational standards: Respect, trust, and communication
Before we dive into the list of “nice-to-haves” that might be on your girlfriend standards list, let’s cover the non-negotiables. These are the foundational elements that must be present for a healthy, thriving relationship. If these are missing, it’s time to re-evaluate.
Mutual respect
This means treating each other with kindness, consideration, and empathy. It’s about valuing each other’s opinions, even when you disagree. You don’t have to see eye-to-eye on everything, but you do have to acknowledge and respect the other person’s point of view. Respect also means honoring boundaries and personal space. Avoid pressuring each other into uncomfortable situations, physically or emotionally.
Unwavering trust
Honesty and transparency are the cornerstones of trust. No secrets, no deception. Build trust through consistent actions and reliability. Follow through on commitments and promises, big or small. Show that you are someone who can be counted on.
Open and honest communication
This isn’t just about talking to each other; it’s about truly communicating. Express your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. Practice active listening and empathy, trying to understand the other person’s perspective. When conflicts arise (and they will!), address them constructively. Avoid passive-aggressiveness and instead, use “I” statements to express your feelings and focus on finding solutions together.
Emotional maturity and support
If you’re looking for a partner, what qualities are on your must-have list? Here are a few suggestions for emotional maturity and support.
Emotional intelligence
When you’re looking for a partner, you want someone who is self-aware and knows how to manage their emotions. Someone who recognizes their emotional triggers and can regulate their feelings without lashing out or resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms. You also want them to be empathetic and compassionate. Someone who validates your emotions and offers support when you’re going through a tough time.
Supportive partnership
A good partner will encourage you to pursue your goals and celebrate your successes. They’ll also be there to pick you up when you stumble and provide practical and emotional support when you need it most. You’re a team, and you’re in each other’s corner.
Healthy coping mechanisms
Everyone deals with stress and difficult emotions, but a good partner will manage them in healthy ways. They won’t turn to substance abuse or emotional outbursts. They’ll prioritize their mental health and encourage you to do the same. If they need professional help, they’ll seek it out, and they’ll support you if you need to do the same.
Shared Values and Compatibility
Beyond attraction and initial excitement, long-term relationships thrive when built on a foundation of shared values and compatibility. This means finding someone whose core beliefs and lifestyle mesh well with yours.
Core Values Alignment
Do you share fundamental values about family, career, and personal growth? It’s important to discuss and understand each other’s priorities in life. Are you both on the same page when it comes to ethics and morals? Compatibility in areas like honesty, integrity, and social responsibility is crucial for a lasting connection.
Intellectual Compatibility
Can you engage in stimulating conversations and share intellectual interests? Do you enjoy learning from each other and exploring new ideas together? Respecting each other’s perspectives and opinions is also key. Being open to different viewpoints and engaging in respectful debate can enrich your relationship.
Lifestyle Compatibility
Do you have compatible lifestyles and daily routines? Consider factors such as work schedules, social activities, and personal habits. Are you willing to compromise and adapt to each other’s needs? Finding a balance that works for both partners is essential for a harmonious relationship.
Personal growth and independence
You can’t expect your girlfriend to be your whole world. She’s a person, just like you, with her own needs, desires, and dreams. Here’s how you can build a standard of personal growth and independence into your relationship:
Self-awareness and personal development
Is she committed to growing as a person? To becoming a better version of herself? If so, that’s a great sign. People who are focused on self-improvement are more likely to be supportive, understanding, and compassionate partners.
Does she know what she wants and need in a relationship? Has she taken the time to reflect on her strengths and weaknesses? If so, she’s more likely to be able to communicate effectively and resolve conflict in a healthy way.
Maintaining individuality
Do you encourage each other to pursue your own hobbies and interests? Do you support each other’s passions? If so, you’re more likely to maintain a strong sense of self and avoid becoming overly dependent on each other. Maintaining that individuality is key, and learning how to be feminine in a relationship can also enhance the connection.
And does she maintain healthy relationships with her friends and family? If so, you’re more likely to have a support system outside of the relationship.
Respecting independence
It’s vital to respect each other’s need for personal space and alone time. Avoid feeling insecure or threatened by her independence. Trust her to make responsible decisions and avoid trying to control or micromanage her life.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are some examples of relationship standards?
Relationship standards are the boundaries and expectations you set for how you want to be treated. Examples include expecting open and honest communication, mutual respect (even during disagreements), emotional availability, consistent effort in the relationship, shared values, and a commitment to personal growth. It’s also about feeling safe, supported, and valued for who you are.
What standards should a girl have for her partner?
The standards a girl should have are completely personal, but some common ones include expecting respect for her boundaries, feeling safe and secure in the relationship (both physically and emotionally), being with someone who is honest and trustworthy, having a partner who supports her goals and dreams, experiencing open communication, and receiving equal effort and commitment. Ultimately, it’s about knowing your worth and not settling for less than you deserve.
What are the requirements of a girlfriend?
Thinking of a girlfriend as having “requirements” can be a bit transactional. It’s more about what qualities and behaviors are important to you in a partner. These might include being kind, compassionate, supportive, and understanding. It’s also about being communicative, honest, and willing to work through challenges together. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and a genuine desire to connect with each other, not on a checklist of requirements. To foster lasting love, learn how to be an adult in relationships.
Summary
Having high standards for a girlfriend is essential. Those standards aren’t just a list of demands; they’re a reflection of your self-respect and a blueprint for building a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
Use this list as a guide when evaluating potential partners. It’s not exhaustive, but it provides a solid foundation. Remember, compromising on your standards can lead to unhappiness and resentment down the line.
Prioritize your well-being and happiness. You deserve a partner who meets your standards and enriches your life.