Falling in love is one of the most amazing feelings in the world, but what happens when those feelings become too intense? Are you really falling or just catching feelings? It’s normal to think about your partner, but sometimes, those thoughts can become obsessive.
Are you spending all your time thinking about your boyfriend? Do you feel anxious when you are not together? If so, you might be too obsessed with your boyfriend.
This “Am I Too Obsessed With My Boyfriend Quiz” is designed to help you assess your feelings and behaviors in your relationship and determine if you might be exhibiting signs of unhealthy obsession. It is important to remember that this quiz is not a diagnostic tool, and the results should not be taken as a substitute for professional advice. If you are concerned about your relationship, it is always best to seek the guidance of a qualified therapist or counselor.
What is Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD)?
Let’s be clear: Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) isn’t a formal diagnosis you’ll find in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). However, the term is often used to describe a pattern of obsessive behaviors and feelings that can surface in romantic relationships.
Think possessiveness, constant worrying about your partner, extreme jealousy, and controlling behaviors. These aren’t just fleeting feelings; they become a dominant force, significantly impacting both individuals in the relationship.
It’s worth mentioning some related concepts, too, like erotomania (a delusional belief that someone is in love with you) and codependency (an unhealthy reliance on a partner for emotional needs). While there’s some overlap, OLD often involves a more intense and obsessive focus.
Attachment styles, like Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) or Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and even personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) can also play a role in OLD. These underlying issues can contribute to the obsessive thoughts and behaviors that characterize the disorder.
What the “Am I Too Obsessed With My Boyfriend?” Quiz Analyzes
An “Am I Too Obsessed With My Boyfriend?” quiz usually looks for a few key red flags that can signal an unhealthy relationship dynamic. These include:
Codependency
Codependency shows up when you find yourself putting your boyfriend’s needs way, way ahead of your own. You might feel like you need to take care of him, even if it means neglecting yourself. Healthy relationships are about give and take, not one person constantly sacrificing for the other.
Overprotection and Controlling Behaviors
Are you constantly checking in on your boyfriend, trying to dictate his choices, or getting overly involved in his life? This overprotectiveness and need to control can be a sign of obsession. It stems from a place of insecurity and a desire to manage the relationship, which isn’t fair to either of you.
Possessiveness and Jealousy
Do you feel threatened by other people or even objects that your boyfriend interacts with? Extreme possessiveness and jealousy are big red flags. It’s one thing to feel a little twinge of jealousy now and then, but if it’s a constant, overwhelming feeling, it’s a sign that something’s not right.
Extreme Neediness
Do you constantly need your boyfriend’s validation and attention? An extreme need for reassurance can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. It’s healthy to want to feel loved and appreciated, but if you’re constantly seeking external validation, it can create an unhealthy dynamic.
The stages of obsessive love
Obsessive love tends to unfold in stages, and understanding these stages can help you assess whether you’re experiencing something more than just intense affection.
Stage 1: Attraction
It starts with that rush of infatuation when you first meet your love interest. Everything about them seems perfect, and you’re swept away by excitement and the potential of the relationship.
Stage 2: Anxiety
As the relationship progresses, anxiety and insecurity begin to creep in. You might start to worry about losing your partner and fear abandonment. This is when the seeds of obsession start to take root.
Stage 3: Obsession
Obsessive thoughts and behaviors escalate. You find yourself constantly preoccupied with your partner, analyzing every interaction and needing constant reassurance of their feelings.
Stage 4: Destruction
The final stage is marked by conflict, manipulation, and the potential breakdown of the relationship. If you feel manipulated, it may be an emotionally toxic relationship. Relationships at this stage tend to end either explosively or through a slow, painful decay.
Attachment Styles and Personality Disorders: Potential Root Causes
Sometimes, relationship obsessions are rooted in early childhood experiences or underlying mental health conditions.
Attachment Styles
Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DED) can cause you to be overly familiar with strangers, while Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) makes it difficult to form attachments. These attachment styles can definitely shape your relationship patterns and even lead to obsessive behaviors.
Personality Disorders
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), with its intense fear of abandonment and unstable relationships, and Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD), characterized by obsessive thoughts about the relationship, can also be at play.
These conditions can fuel obsessive tendencies, making it hard to distinguish healthy affection from something more problematic.
Who Should Take the “Am I Too Obsessed With My Boyfriend?” Quiz?
This quiz is for anyone who’s wondering if their feelings for their boyfriend are a little… much. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, or if you’re confused by the intensity of your feelings, this quiz might offer some clarity.
It’s also helpful for people who recognize possessive, jealous, or controlling behaviors in themselves. Do you find yourself constantly checking up on your boyfriend or feeling anxious when you’re apart? This quiz can help you understand those patterns.
Finally, anyone who’s simply curious about their relationship dynamics and attachment style could benefit from taking this quiz. It’s a chance to gain some insight into your relationship patterns and how you relate to your partner.
What to Do If the Quiz Results Indicate Obsessive Tendencies
If the quiz suggests you might be a little too focused on your boyfriend, it’s time to consider seeking professional help. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can give you an unbiased assessment and expert guidance to help you gain some perspective.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one option. CBT can help you identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that might be affecting your relationship.
It’s also important to talk openly with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. Establishing relationship boundaries can help you define your needs and communicate them effectively. Honest communication is essential for building a healthy, balanced relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you be too obsessed with your boyfriend?
Absolutely. While strong feelings are a normal part of relationships, obsession crosses a line. It’s about the intensity and impact on your life. If your thoughts about your boyfriend are constant, intrusive, and interfere with your daily activities, work, or relationships with friends and family, it could be a sign of unhealthy obsession. Healthy love allows for independence and personal growth, while obsession can be consuming and controlling.
How do I know if I’m obsessed with my boyfriend?
Reflect on your behavior and thought patterns. Do you constantly check his social media? Do you get extremely anxious when he’s not with you? Do you feel the need to control his actions or who he spends time with? Do you neglect your own hobbies and interests to be with him? If you answered yes to many of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re exhibiting obsessive tendencies. Seeking an outside perspective from a trusted friend or therapist can also provide clarity.
Do I love him or am I obsessed?
Love and obsession can feel similar initially, but they’re fundamentally different. Love is based on respect, trust, and mutual support. It allows for individual autonomy and encourages personal growth. Obsession, on the other hand, is often rooted in insecurity, fear of abandonment, and a need for control. It can manifest as excessive jealousy, possessiveness, and a constant need for reassurance. If your feelings are causing you distress and impacting your well-being, it’s more likely to be obsession than healthy love.
In Closing
This quiz is just a tool to help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. It’s not a diagnosis, and it’s not meant to tell you what to do. Instead, use your score as a starting point to think about your behaviors and how you can improve your relationship.
Self-care is important! Make sure you’re taking care of your own needs and finding healthy ways to cope with stress. If you’re concerned about your relationship behaviors, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support to help you develop healthier and more fulfilling relationships.