Love is a big, complex emotion. It’s at the heart of our lives, showing up in many different ways.
When you start to understand the different ways love expresses itself, it can really change how you see and experience your relationships. Consider expressing your feelings with love quotes to deepen those connections. It can also help you grow as a person.
This article will explore four primary types of love relationships: Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape. Each one has a unique history and affects our relationships differently.
Storge is the love you feel for your family. Philia is the deep friendship kind of love. Eros is all about romantic love and passion. Agape is the selfless, unconditional love that puts others first.
We’ll also take a look at what the Bible has to say about these four types of love.
What Are the Four Loves?
C.S. Lewis, the author of the Chronicles of Narnia series, wrote a book called The Four Loves in which he explores four distinct forms of love. These are:
Storge: Familial Affection
Storge (pronounced STORE-gay) is best understood as family love. It’s the easy bond between parents and children, and sometimes siblings. This kind of love is steady, sure, and enduring. It’s natural, enduring, and based on familiarity, and it’s often less conditional than other forms of love.
Phileo: Friendship
Philia (FILL-ee-uh) is love based on shared values, respect, and a strong emotional connection. It encompasses love for fellow humans, care, respect, and compassion. It’s reciprocal, chosen, and built on mutual admiration.
For Lewis, friendship is the recognition between two people that they share a common view of the world, of faith, or of truth.
Eros: Passion
Eros (AIR-os) portrays the idea of passion and intensity of feeling. It’s often focused on pursuit and idealization. Eros is romantic, intense, and often physical. But Eros can become so important that it takes precedence over the love of God.
Agape: Charity
Agape (uh-GAH-pay) is divine love, making it perfect, pure, and self-sacrificing. It’s selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial. Agape is unconditional, selfless, and focused on the well-being of others. It helps people to forgive, respect, and serve one another.
Type of Love: Affection (Storge)
Let’s take a deeper look at storge, the term for familial love, or affection. C.S. Lewis, in his book The Four Loves, said that storge is responsible for “nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our natural lives.”
Storge is the love found between a parent and child, or among siblings. The Bible offers the example of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, siblings who shared a close bond of deep affection.
One of the best things about storge is that it is stable, comfortable, and accepting. It’s a love that endures, offering a steady sense of belonging. You know these people have your back, no matter what.
However, storge can have its downsides. It can be so familiar that it’s easy to take for granted. Sometimes, it can be a little boring, lacking the excitement of romantic love or the intensity of passionate love. The people who share storge might not always express their affection, assuming that the others simply know they are loved.
Still, storge is a vital type of love, providing a foundation of security and connection that enriches our lives.
Type of Love: Friendship (Philia)
Philia goes beyond simple companionship. It’s a deep connection forged by shared interests, mutual respect, and a common worldview. It’s the comfort of knowing someone “gets” you, understands your quirks, and shares your passions.
Think of your closest friendships – the people you can laugh with, cry with, and debate with for hours. That’s philia in action. It’s the camaraderie you feel with teammates, the bond of brotherhood, the unwavering support of your chosen family.
The Bible offers beautiful examples of philia. David and Jonathan’s story is one of profound loyalty and unwavering support. Paul and Timothy shared a mentor-mentee relationship that blossomed into a deep and abiding friendship, fueled by their shared faith and purpose.
Philia provides us with support, understanding, and opportunities for shared growth. It fosters a love for our fellow humans, encouraging us to show care, respect, and compassion. It’s the kind of love that builds communities and strengthens societies.
Of course, like any relationship, philia isn’t without its challenges. Disagreements or shifts in values can strain even the strongest friendships. It requires nurturing, commitment, and a willingness to work through differences to maintain that precious bond.
Type of Love: Passion (Eros)
Eros is the love of passion, a deep romantic love characterized by intensity and allure. Are you catching feelings that align with this type of love? It’s the kind of love that stirs excitement and intense feelings.
Eros is often seen in romantic relationships, where attraction and desire are strong driving forces. One example of Eros love in classic literature is the relationship between the King and his bride in the Song of Solomon. The book is an ode to the joys of physical and emotional intimacy.
The strengths of Eros lie in its capacity for excitement, passion, and deep connection. It’s a thrilling and powerful emotion that can bring immense joy and fulfillment.
However, Eros also comes with potential challenges. It can be fleeting, based on superficial attraction, or even become obsessive. The intensity of Eros can sometimes overshadow other important aspects of life, including one’s relationship with God.
Historically, many have believed that Eros is best expressed within the commitment and boundaries of marriage, where the passion can be nurtured and balanced with other forms of love, like companionship and commitment.
Type of Love: Selfless Love (Agape)
Agape is the purest, most selfless form of love. It’s unconditional, sacrificial, and often described as divine. Think of it as perfect love, motivated by a deep and unwavering commitment to the well-being of others.
Examples of agape are everywhere. It’s the unconditional love a parent has for a child, the dedication of a caregiver to a patient, or even the love and respect people show for all humanity. The early Christian church practiced agape love through sacred rites involving bread and wine and fellowship meals in which members shared food and demonstrated love and support for one another.
Agape is a powerful force. It promotes unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and deep compassion. It helps people forgive, respect, and serve one another.
But agape isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to maintain consistently and may require significant personal sacrifice. It requires a deep connection to faith, values, and a sincere desire to see others thrive, even at your own expense. Agape is a high ideal, and while it might be difficult to fully achieve, striving for it can enrich your life and the lives of those around you.
Are the Four Love Types Biblical?
The ancient Greeks may have had a pretty good handle on the different ways people experience love. But do these four concepts have any basis in the Bible?
Absolutely. Let’s take a look:
- Storge: From cover to cover, the Bible places great emphasis on the importance of family relationships. Honoring your parents is a commandment, and caring for your family is seen as a sacred duty.
- Philia: The bond of friendship runs deep in the Bible. Perhaps the most famous example is the friendship between David and Jonathan, but there are many others. Good friends are seen as blessings from God.
- Eros: The Bible treats marriage as a sacred union. In fact, the entire book of Song of Solomon celebrates the joys of physical intimacy within the bonds of marriage.
- Agape: This is the big one. Undonditional love is central to Christian teachings. It’s demonstrated by God’s love for humanity and Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. Agape love is the kind of love that Christians are called to show to everyone.
Love is a Noun and a Verb
Think about it: love is a noun and a verb. As a noun, it’s a feeling, an emotion, an affection. It describes the state of being in love or feeling loved.
But love is also a verb. It’s an action, a choice, a commitment. It’s showing love through acts of service, kindness, and even sacrifice.
True love encompasses both. You can feel love, but you also have to do love. You have to actively choose to love someone, to show them love, and to commit to loving them, even when it’s hard.
1 Corinthians 13 and Attributes of Love
When many people think of love, they think of the Bible passage 1 Corinthians 13. It’s often read at weddings, and it’s probably the most famous passage on love in the English language. It begins, “Love is patient, love is kind.”
The passage goes on to describe many of the attributes of love:
- Love is patient.
- Love is kind.
- It does not envy.
- It does not boast.
- It is not proud.
- It does not dishonor others.
- It is not self-seeking.
- It is not easily angered.
- It keeps no record of wrongs.
- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
- It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The passage ends with a description of love’s enduring nature, stating that love never fails.
Conclusion
In this article, we’ve explored the four ancient Greek concepts of love: Storge (familial love), Philia (brotherly love), Eros (romantic love), and Agape (unconditional love).
All four types of love are important and worthy of cultivation. Understanding each one can help you build more meaningful relationships.
Love, in all its forms, can be transformative, and it can change the world. By embracing and nurturing these different kinds of love, we can build a better, more connected world for ourselves and for future generations.