A good marriage takes work. It’s a partnership, and a strong marriage thrives when both partners support each other and understand each other’s needs.
Sometimes those needs are obvious. But sometimes, a husband might not always say exactly what he needs from his wife. It’s up to the wife to be perceptive and proactive.
So, what are some of the things a husband needs from his wife?
While every marriage is different, there are some common themes. Men have emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. Meeting those needs is essential to a happy marriage.
Here are 10 things a husband needs from his wife:
COMMUNICATION: The Heart of Connection
Do you and your husband have a safe space for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment? Open and honest dialogue is vital for addressing marital issues and keeping your relationship strong.
Are you truly listening to understand your husband’s point of view, or are you just waiting for your turn to talk? Active listening involves paying attention, asking questions to clarify his meaning, and trying to show empathy. Strive to be “quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger,” (James 1:19).
Can you communicate respectfully, even when you disagree? “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger,” (Proverbs 15:1). Remember, “It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman,” (Proverbs 21:9 NASB).
PATIENCE: Embracing Imperfection
Let’s face it: everyone makes mistakes. Your husband needs to know that you’ll extend grace when he falls short. Patience allows room for mistakes and differing points of view.
Quick forgiveness is another essential part of a healthy relationship. Holding grudges can erode trust and create resentment over time. It’s vital to forgive quickly and move forward.
Finally, personal growth takes time and patience. You should support your husband’s growth, even if it’s a slow process. Encourage him to learn from his mistakes and become the best version of himself.
Unconditional love: A steadfast foundation
What does it mean to love someone unconditionally? It means that you accept your husband for who he is, flaws and all. This kind of love doesn’t hinge on performance or achievement; it’s not a quid-pro-quo arrangement.
Instead, it’s a love modeled after God’s love for us, and it’s the bedrock of a strong, lasting marriage.
One of the best ways to demonstrate unconditional love is by creating a non-judgmental space for your husband. He needs to know he’s safe and accepted, even when he messes up. That means offering unwavering support through thick and thin, offering encouragement and understanding, and being a good listener.
And, yes, it also means extending forgiveness and grace when mistakes happen. Remember what it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a: “Love is patient, love is kind…it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
INTIMACY AND SEXUAL CONNECTION: A Vital Need
Physical intimacy is a major deal for most husbands. It’s not just about the act itself, but about the deep connection and sense of closeness it creates. Sex is a powerful way to strengthen the marital bond.
But it’s not just about the physical. Emotional intimacy is just as crucial. Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities creates a deeper level of understanding and connection that goes beyond the surface.
Life gets crazy busy, I get it. But don’t let intimacy fall by the wayside. The Bible even talks about this in 1 Corinthians 7:5: “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time…” Prioritize making time for each other, both physically and emotionally. Your marriage will thank you for it!
ENCOURAGEMENT: Fueling His Purpose
Men need to feel like they’re succeeding. They need to feel strong and capable. They need to know that you see them that way, too.
- Recognize his strengths. Point out the things he’s good at and let him know that you value his particular skills and abilities.
- Support his goals. Encourage him to chase his dreams. A man whose wife believes in him is a powerful man, indeed.
- Offer positive affirmations. Tell him that you believe in him and that you know he can do whatever he sets his mind to. A few simple words can have a huge impact.
A man who feels encouraged is a man who feels loved.
HONESTY AND TRUST: The Bedrock of the Relationship
Relationships simply can’t thrive without honesty and trust. Transparency is key—be open and truthful in all aspects of your relationship. Honesty builds trust and integrity.
Act with integrity and consistently keep your commitments. Your actions should always line up with your words. If you say you’ll be somewhere at a certain time, be there. If you promise to do something, follow through.
Be truthful in your words and actions, even when it’s difficult. The Bible says to, “Abstain from all appearance of evil,” (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Even the appearance of dishonesty erodes trust and can damage the relationship.
A LOVING EAR: A Sanctuary for His Thoughts
Men need a safe place to land when they have something on their mind, and often, that place is with their wives.
When your husband needs to talk, put your phone down, turn off the TV, and make eye contact. Be present. Show him that you value what he has to say.
Even if you don’t completely agree with his point of view, try to see things from his perspective and validate his feelings. Men need to know their wives understand and empathize with them.
Create a safe space in your marriage where your husband can share anything without feeling judged or betrayed. Trust is essential for open communication, and men need to know their thoughts are safe with you.
RESPECT: Honoring His Masculinity
It’s important to show your husband that you value his thoughts and ideas, even when they differ from your own. Show him respect by actively listening when he speaks and really considering his perspective.
Acknowledge and appreciate all the work he does to provide for and protect your family. Let him know that you see and value his contributions to your lives.
Avoid belittling, criticizing, or undermining him, whether you’re in public or in private. Respect is absolutely essential for a healthy, thriving relationship. When a husband feels respected, he’s more likely to feel secure and loved, and he’s more likely to reciprocate with love and respect.
Understanding: Seeing His World
One of the most important things you can bring to your marriage is understanding. Strive to understand your husband’s point of view, even when you don’t agree with it.
Understanding in a marriage also means being sensitive to your husband’s needs and trying to meet them as best you can. This requires paying close attention to what he says and does.
Does your husband have hobbies or passions that are important to him? Encourage him to pursue them. Supporting his interests shows that you value him as an individual, not just as your husband. When a man feels understood, he’s more likely to feel loved and appreciated.
SUPPORT: Being His Ally
One of the most important things a husband needs from his wife is unwavering support. This means more than just a pat on the back; it’s about being his ally in all aspects of life.
Encourage his dreams, even if they seem far-fetched. A supportive wife can be instrumental in a husband’s success and overall well-being. Offer practical help and emotional support when he’s facing challenges. Be his rock during difficult times, a constant source of strength and stability.
Most importantly, believe in him. Let him know that you have faith in his abilities to overcome obstacles and achieve his goals. Your belief in him can make a world of difference, giving him the confidence to pursue his passions and reach his full potential.
The Bottom Line
When you meet your husband’s needs, you’re making your marriage stronger and more fulfilling. It strengthens the bond between you.
However, relationships are always changing, and meeting each other’s needs is a journey, not a destination. Marriage requires constant effort and adaptation.
If you’re a wife, you can’t force your husband to change. But you can support your husband, meet his needs, and trust God to work in your marriage. God can work in your husband’s life, even if you can’t.