Have you ever felt so intensely drawn to someone that you can’t think of anything else? Is that intense love, or something else entirely?
We all know love can be a complex mix of affection, care, and commitment. But what about limerence? Limerence is an involuntary state of mind, an intense infatuation, a longing to have those feelings reciprocated.
It was psychologist Dorothy Tennov who named and defined limerence in her 1979 book, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Tennov spent a decade researching the topic of limerence, and while her findings were revelatory, they were often dismissed.
Tennov described limerence as an obsessive, all-consuming passion, characterized by intrusive thoughts, a need for reciprocation, and an extreme sensitivity to any cues from the other person. It’s that feeling of being utterly consumed by another person, even when that person is largely indifferent.
So what’s the difference between love and limerence, anyway? This exploration delves into the intricacies of love and limerence, differentiating between the two, examining the psychological processes behind limerence, and highlighting the importance of Tennov’s contributions to the field.