Let’s face it: wrecking a relationship is an awful feeling. Maybe you cheated, said some unforgivable things, or made a series of bad decisions that led to a major breach of trust. Whatever the cause, you’re now dealing with the painful reality of a relationship in tatters.
Relationships are complicated, and mistakes happen. It’s part of being human. If you feel like your relationship is broken, there are conversations that can help fix it. But acknowledging the hurt you’ve caused is the crucial first step toward any kind of healing. It’s time to put aside excuses and face the music.
The focus needs to shift from assigning blame – whether to yourself or the other person – to truly understanding the damage that’s been done. This means taking full responsibility for your actions, even if it’s uncomfortable. No more “buts” or justifications. Own it.
It’s also important to have realistic expectations. Figuring out how to fix a relationship you ruined isn’t a quick fix. It’s a long process, not a sprint. There will be setbacks, moments of doubt, and potentially a lot of difficult conversations. And let’s be honest, the relationship may never be exactly what it was before. But that doesn’t mean it can’t evolve into something new, and possibly even stronger, if both people are willing to put in the work.
So, what does that work look like? It involves a healthy dose of empathy (seeing things from the other person’s perspective), brutal self-reflection (understanding your role in the problem), acceptance (of the situation and the potential outcome), and, in some cases, professional help from a therapist or counselor.
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