Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that makes it hard to manage your emotions, leading to unstable relationships and impulsive behavior.
For years, BPD was thought to be a condition that mainly affected women. But that’s not really the case. There’s just a lot of bias when it comes to diagnosing BPD, and that means that borderline personality in men is often overlooked.
That’s why this article is all about BPD in men. We’re going to talk about how it shows up, the challenges men face, and how to get help.
What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition marked by difficulties with emotional regulation. This can cause intense mood swings, impulsive behavior, and rocky relationships.
People with BPD often have a deep fear of abandonment and may go to great lengths to avoid feeling abandoned by others. They may also have an unstable self-image, which can lead to self-destructive behaviors.
Diagnostic criteria
According to the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition” (DSM-5), a diagnosis of BPD involves several criteria. These include frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment; a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships; identity disturbance; and impulsivity that is potentially self-damaging.
It’s important to note that not every diagnostic criterion has to be met for a BPD diagnosis to be made.
The myth of gender bias in BPD diagnosis
It’s a common misconception that borderline personality disorder primarily affects women. While it’s true that BPD has historically been diagnosed more frequently in women, recent research suggests that BPD is prevalent in both genders.
Societal expectations and gender stereotypes can influence diagnosis. Societal expectations of masculinity, for example, can keep men from seeking the help they need. Men with BPD may also be misdiagnosed with antisocial behavior.
So, what are the real numbers? Approximately 38% of individuals diagnosed with BPD are men. Keep in mind that potential variations in prevalence may occur across different cultures.
Gender biases can affect how behaviors are observed and interpreted. The same behavior might be perceived differently based on whether the person displaying the behavior is male or female. For example, disruptive behavior in a classroom might be more readily attributed to a boy than a girl.
How borderline personality disorder presents in men: Different symptoms
Men with BPD may not show the same symptoms as women. Instead, aggression and substance abuse are more commonly seen in men who live with the condition.
Signs and symptoms of BPD in men
The most common symptoms in men with BPD include:
- anger
- impulsivity
- a hunger for new experiences
Impulsive behaviors
Men with BPD may have impulsive behaviors that include:
- spending sprees
- risky sexual behavior
- substance misuse
- reckless driving
Anger and aggression
Men with BPD are prone to anger and aggression, which can cause anger management issues and relationship challenges.
Splitting, or viewing people as either all good or all bad, is a common characteristic of BPD. This can also make relationships harder to maintain, and may indicate that relationship trauma is impacting your love life.
Comorbidities and challenges men with BPD face
BPD doesn’t often occur alone. It has a high comorbidity rate, meaning it often shows up with other mental health conditions. These co-occurring conditions can make diagnosing and treating BPD in men more complex.
Substance use
Men with BPD are more likely to struggle with substance use disorders, especially involving alcohol. This can create significant challenges in treatment. Men who are dealing with both substance use disorder and BPD may have a hard time sticking to their treatment plans. They may also be more likely to be misdiagnosed.
Self-harm
BPD increases the risk of self-harm and suicide in both men and women. It’s incredibly important to recognize the signs of self-harm in someone you know. While women with BPD are more likely to seek treatment and engage in self-harm methods like cutting, men are at higher risk of suicide and may be less likely to seek help.
How BPD affects men’s lives
Men with BPD face a unique set of challenges. They often feel emotions more intensely than others and can experience rapid mood swings that make them feel out of control.
Emotional challenges
Because of emotional dysregulation, men with BPD often experience intense mood swings and have difficulty managing their emotions. These symptoms can lead to feelings of shame, anger, sadness, and anxiety.
Social challenges
The unstable relationships and difficulty maintaining friendships that are common symptoms of BPD can make it difficult for men to build and keep social connections. They may also struggle with feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Occupational and financial challenges
Impulsivity and difficulty managing emotions can lead to job loss and financial instability in men with BPD. They may also have difficulty with school and other educational pursuits.
Treatment options for BPD in men
There are several effective treatment options available for men struggling with BPD. The most common and effective approaches include psychotherapy, medication management, and lifestyle changes.
Psychotherapy and counseling
Psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy, is considered the cornerstone of BPD treatment. A type of psychotherapy called dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has been shown to be particularly effective in helping people manage their emotions, improve relationships, and reduce self-harming behaviors.
Other therapies that can help include mentalization-based therapy and transference-focused therapy.
Medication management
While there’s no medication specifically designed to treat BPD, certain medications can help manage specific symptoms, such as depression, anxiety, and impulsivity.
Lifestyle changes and coping strategies
Lifestyle changes and coping strategies can complement professional treatment and help individuals better manage their symptoms. These include:
- Regular exercise
- A healthy diet
- Relaxation techniques like meditation
Frequently Asked Questions
What is high-functioning borderline personality disorder in men?
High-functioning BPD in men refers to individuals who meet the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder but are still able to maintain a relatively stable external life. They may hold down jobs, maintain some relationships, and appear outwardly successful. However, internally, they still struggle with intense emotions, fear of abandonment, and unstable self-image, often masking these struggles effectively.
What does borderline personality look like in a male?
BPD can manifest differently in men compared to women. While both genders experience the core symptoms, men with BPD might exhibit more outward anger, impulsivity, and risk-taking behaviors. They may also be more prone to substance abuse as a coping mechanism. Due to societal expectations, men might suppress their emotions, leading to explosive outbursts or difficulty expressing vulnerability. Some men might also present with controlling or possessive behaviors in relationships.
What is it like to date a man with borderline personality disorder?
As with any relationship, dating a man with BPD can be challenging, particularly if trust issues are present. Relationships may be characterized by intense highs and lows, rapid shifts in feelings, and a constant need for reassurance. Fear of abandonment can lead to clinginess or controlling behavior. Communication can be difficult due to emotional dysregulation. However, with understanding, patience, and a commitment to therapy (both individual and couples), it’s possible to have a fulfilling relationship. It’s crucial for partners to set healthy boundaries and prioritize their own well-being.
Closing Thoughts
As we’ve seen, borderline personality disorder can show up differently in men, and it’s vital to recognize and address gender biases in diagnosis. Early intervention and accurate diagnosis are crucial for improving outcomes.
If you suspect that you or someone you know might have BPD, please seek help. With the right treatment and support, men with BPD can absolutely lead fulfilling lives. It takes work and commitment, but recovery is possible, and a better future awaits.