How to Make the First Move on a Guy? Decode His Signals

For generations, dating has been a game with set rules. The guy calls, the guy plans the date, and the guy leans in for the first kiss. But those rules? They’re ancient history.

Today, equality is the name of the game, and women are increasingly empowered to take control of their dating lives. Why wait around for someone else to make a move when you can go after what you want? If you’re interested in someone, why not ask them out?

Taking the initiative can be incredibly freeing. It allows you to pursue people you’re genuinely attracted to, rather than passively waiting to be chosen. Plus, it can actually reduce anxiety! Instead of wondering “what if,” you proactively address your feelings and take a chance.

However, approaching a guy first requires confidence, respect, and a little bit of finesse. You need to be aware of yourself, respectful of boundaries, and prepared for any outcome. Learning how do you make the first move on a guy can be a very powerful experience.

Is he interested?

Before you make your move, you’ll want to read the room a bit. Does he seem receptive? Here are a few things to watch for.

Decoding body language

Is he sending signals of interest?

• Eye contact. Does he look at you for longer than a casual glance? Do his pupils seem dilated when he looks at you?
• Body orientation. Does he lean in when you’re talking? Does he face you directly? Does he mimic your movements?
• Physical touch. Does he find excuses to touch your arm or leg?

Listening for verbal cues

What is he saying?

• Engaged conversation. Does he listen attentively when you talk? Does he ask follow-up questions? Does he remember things you’ve told him?
• Humor and playfulness. Does he tease you playfully? Do you share a lot of laughter?
• Compliments. Does he offer genuine compliments about your looks, your personality, or things you’ve done?

The importance of context

Where are you? Is this a social gathering? A work event? A one-on-one date?

And what’s considered flirty in your culture? Body language and communication styles can vary a lot from one culture to the next.

Building Rapport: Laying the Groundwork

Before you make a move, it’s a good idea to build a connection with the guy you’re interested in. The best way to do that is to show that you’re interested in him as a person. Here’s how you can do that.

Initiate Conversation: Breaking the Ice

Start a conversation with him by using one of these techniques:

• Ask open-ended questions. This will get him to share his thoughts and experiences. For example, rather than asking, “Do you like sports?” you might ask, “What’s your favorite sport to watch or play?”
• Talk about common interests. If you know that you share a passion for a certain hobby, bring it up! For example, “I heard you’re into photography. I’ve been trying to get into it myself. Any tips for a beginner?”
• Discuss current events. Talking about relevant news or pop culture can be a great way to start a conversation. Keep it light and avoid anything too controversial, at least at first.

Show Genuine Interest: Active Listening and Engagement

Once you’ve started talking, show him that you’re really listening by:

• Paying attention. Focus on what he’s saying and put away your phone.
• Asking follow-up questions. Show that you’re genuinely interested in his perspective. For example, if he’s talking about his favorite sport, ask him why he likes it.
• Sharing your own experiences. Create a balanced and engaging conversation by sharing your own thoughts and experiences, too.

Create a Positive Atmosphere: Humor and Lightheartedness

Laughter is a great way to connect with someone. Try to:

• Use humor appropriately. Avoid offensive or insensitive jokes.
• Be playful and lighthearted. Create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. Tease him gently or make silly faces.
• Share funny stories or anecdotes. Make him laugh!

Making your move: Practical approaches

So, you’ve decided you want to make the first move. Great! Here are some ways to subtly signal your interest and create opportunities for connection:

Subtle flirting: Non-verbal communication

Sometimes, the most effective moves are the quietest ones. Non-verbal cues can speak volumes:

• Eye contact: Don’t just glance. Hold his gaze for a beat or two longer than you normally would. It’s a simple way to create a connection.
• Smiling: A genuine smile is magnetic. Let your face light up when you see him. It conveys warmth and approachability.
• Light touch: Subtlety is key here. A brief, gentle touch on his arm or shoulder while you’re talking can create a spark. Don’t overdo it, though!

Direct compliments: Expressing your admiration

Everyone loves a sincere compliment. It’s a direct way to show you appreciate something about him:

• Specific compliments: Don’t just say “you’re cool.” Focus on something specific you admire – his sense of humor, his skills in a particular area, or an achievement he’s proud of.
• Sincere compliments: Honesty is crucial. Don’t flatter him with something you don’t genuinely mean. He’ll see right through it.
• Compliment his style or appearance: A simple “I like your shirt” or “That color looks great on you” can go a long way.

Suggesting activities: Creating opportunities

The best way to get to know someone is to spend time with them. Suggesting activities is a great way to make that happen:

• Casual outings: Keep it low-pressure. Invite him to grab coffee, go for a walk in the park, or check out a local event.
• Shared interests: This is a goldmine! If you know he’s into hiking, suggest a hike. If he’s a film buff, invite him to a movie. Aligning the activity with his hobbies shows you pay attention.
• Group settings: If you’re feeling a bit nervous, a group setting can take the pressure off. Invite him to join you and your friends for a social gathering.

The “Teach me something” approach

People love to share their knowledge and expertise. Tap into that:

• Ask for his expertise: Show genuine interest in something he knows a lot about.
• Be genuinely curious: Ask questions, listen attentively, and show enthusiasm for learning.
• Examples: “I’ve always wanted to learn more about [his hobby]. Could you tell me more about it?” This opens the door for him to share his passion and for you to connect on a deeper level.

Navigating the communication channels

Whether you’re face-to-face, texting, or using social media, there are ways to signal your interest and make your move.

In-person interactions: Maximizing opportunities

In real life, it’s all about confidence and creating a connection:

• Confident body language: Make eye contact and smile. Nothing draws someone in like genuine warmth and confidence.
• Engaging conversation: Ask open-ended questions. Show genuine interest in his responses.
• Physical proximity: Stand or sit close enough to create a sense of intimacy. Not too close, though!

Text messaging: Building connection from afar

Texting is a great way to keep the spark alive or build on an initial connection:

• Casual and playful messages: Keep the tone light and engaging. Avoid anything that sounds too serious.
• Open-ended questions: Encourage him to respond and continue the conversation. Steer clear of one-word answers.
• Use emojis and GIFs: Add personality and humor to your messages. Emojis can convey tone that words can’t.

Social media: Subtle engagement

Social media offers a more subtle way to show interest:

• Comment on his posts: Show that you’re interested in his life and activities. A thoughtful comment goes a long way.
• Share his content: Support his interests and passions. This is especially effective if he’s a creative person.
• Avoid excessive engagement: Don’t come across as overly eager or clingy. Less is more!

Respecting Boundaries and Handling Rejection

Making the first move can be exhilarating, but it’s also essential to proceed with respect and awareness. Understanding boundaries and knowing how to handle rejection gracefully are crucial aspects of navigating the dating world.

The Importance of Consent

Consent is paramount in any interaction. Pay close attention to non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions, to gauge his comfort level. If you’re considering physical touch, always ask for permission beforehand. Respect his decision, whatever it may be, without pressuring him or taking it personally.

Handling Rejection Gracefully

Rejection is a part of life, and it’s important to handle it with self-respect and maturity. Allow yourself to feel disappointed if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, but don’t dwell on it or let it define your self-worth. Remember that rejection is not a reflection of your value as a person. Instead, focus on other opportunities and relationships that may be a better fit for you.

Frequently Asked Questions

To conclude

We’ve covered a lot of ground here, from reading his body language to respecting his boundaries. Let’s be honest, making the first move can be nerve-wracking, but it can also be incredibly empowering!

The most important thing to remember is to be confident and respect yourself. Your worth isn’t tied to whether or not someone likes you back. Embrace who you are and seek out relationships that fit your values.

Don’t be afraid to take control of your dating life and pursue your happiness. Making that first move, even if it feels risky, can lead to fulfilling relationships you might otherwise miss out on. So, go for it! What have you got to lose?