Relationship trauma is a very real thing. It’s the emotional and psychological pain you experience from harmful relationship experiences like abuse, betrayal, and broken trust.
Relationship trauma can leave you feeling devastated, confused, and alone. The experiences might even leave lasting psychological and physical scars.
If you’re dealing with the aftermath of a painful relationship, you might be wondering how to get over relationship trauma and start to heal. This article offers guidance and strategies to help you on your journey to recovery.
DEFINING RELATIONSHIP TRAUMA
Relationship trauma is more than just run-of-the-mill relationship problems. It’s what happens when an intimate partner is abusive. It’s the result of deeply harmful experiences, like emotional abuse, betrayals, or breaches of trust.
Sometimes, after experiencing this kind of abuse, people develop something called Post-Traumatic Relationship Syndrome, or PTRS. PTRS is similar to PTSD, and people who have it will experience symptoms like avoidance. In PTRS, avoidance symptoms are often driven by trauma-related shame.
It’s also important to understand the concept of trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is when a victim feels attached to their abuser, and it can lead them to make excuses for the abuser’s behavior. This can make it very difficult to leave an abusive relationship.
Signs and symptoms of relationship trauma
Relationship trauma can manifest in many ways. Here are some of the most common signs and symptoms:
Psychological and emotional symptoms
- Flashbacks and intrusive memories of the relationship that you can’t seem to shake
- Intense emotional reactions like fear, distress, guilt, or shame
- A hard time trusting others or feelings of suspicion about people you care about
- Nightmares related to the traumatic experiences you had in the relationship
Behavioral and relational symptoms
- Avoiding relationships or intimacy because you don’t feel safe
- Self-blame and guilt over the relationship’s problems, even if you weren’t at fault
- A dent in your self-esteem and self-worth
- Difficulty regulating your emotions, even in situations that aren’t inherently stressful
If any of these symptoms sound familiar, it’s important to seek help from a qualified therapist or counselor. They can provide you with the support and guidance you need to heal from relationship trauma and move forward in a healthy way.
THE ROLE OF ABUSE AND BETRAYAL
Abuse, whether physical, emotional, or sexual, can deeply impact your sense of self and your ability to form healthy relationships, particularly when dealing with an empath and covert narcissist. Abusive behavior is about control and manipulation, and it often involves isolating the victim from friends and family who could offer support.
Betrayal, particularly infidelity or other serious breaches of trust, can also cause profound emotional wounds. When someone you love and trust violates that trust, it can be incredibly difficult to heal. These kinds of betrayals can make it hard to trust anyone in the future, casting a shadow over subsequent relationships.
One of the first steps toward healing from relationship trauma is recognizing any patterns of abuse or betrayal that may have been present. Understanding what happened is crucial to moving forward.
Healing strategies: building a foundation of safety and support
When you are healing from trauma, it is essential to put strategies in place that will help you build a safe and supportive foundation. Here’s how to build that foundation:
Create a safe environment
The first step is to foster an environment where you feel emotionally and physically safe. If at all possible, minimize or eliminate contact with the person who caused the trauma. Creating distance may be necessary for your healing journey. If you can’t eliminate contact, make sure you have a strategy in place to protect yourself.
Establish healthy boundaries
It’s vital to pinpoint and set clear boundaries in all areas of your life; sometimes, taking a break for clarity and growth can help with this. This includes your relationships, work, and personal life. Learn to say “no” and put your own needs first. It’s OK to prioritize your well-being during the healing process.
Build a support system
Connect with trusted friends, family members, or support groups, especially if you are experiencing emotional abandonment in Christian marriage. Share your experiences with people who will understand and validate your feelings. A strong support system can provide emotional support, encouragement, and guidance as you navigate the healing process.
Healing strategies: Self-care and professional help
Healing from relationship trauma will take time, and it’s crucial that you are patient with yourself during the process. You may find that focusing on self-care and seeking professional help can make a big difference.
Self-care practices
Make sure you’re taking care of yourself by:
- doing things that relax you and make you feel good
- practicing self-compassion and treating yourself with kindness
- prioritizing healthy meals, enough sleep, and regular physical activity
Seeking professional support
One of the best things you can do to heal is to seek therapy to process your trauma. A therapist can help you learn to manage your symptoms and build coping skills.
Some types of therapy that may be helpful include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and psychodynamic therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does past relationship trauma look like?
Past relationship trauma can manifest in various ways. You might experience anxiety or panic attacks, especially in new relationships. Trust issues are common, making it difficult to form close bonds. You might also find yourself replaying past events, struggling with low self-esteem, or feeling emotionally numb. Hypervigilance, where you’re constantly on guard for potential threats, is another sign. Essentially, it’s when a past relationship continues to negatively impact your present emotional and mental well-being.
How long does it take to heal from past relationship trauma?
There’s no set timeline for healing from relationship trauma. It’s a deeply personal journey, and the duration depends on the severity of the trauma, your support system, and the coping mechanisms you employ. Some people might find relief within a few months through therapy and self-care, while others might need years to fully process their experiences. Be patient with yourself and focus on consistent progress, not perfection.
Does relationship trauma ever go away?
While the pain might lessen over time, relationship trauma often doesn’t completely disappear. Instead, it transforms. You learn to manage the symptoms, develop healthier coping strategies, and build stronger boundaries. It becomes a part of your story, shaping who you are without defining you. The goal isn’t to erase the past but to integrate it into your life in a way that empowers you rather than holds you back.
How to recover from a traumatic relationship?
Recovering from a traumatic relationship involves a multi-faceted approach. Seeking professional help from a therapist specializing in trauma is crucial. Prioritize self-care activities like exercise, mindfulness, and spending time with loved ones. Establish clear boundaries in all your relationships. Focus on rebuilding your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and acknowledge that healing is a process, not a destination.
In closing
Healing from relationship trauma can be a long, winding road, and you don’t have to walk it alone. The most important thing you can do is reach out for help and support.
The key strategies for healing are creating safety, setting boundaries, building a support system, practicing self-care, and seeking professional guidance.
It takes dedication, but recovery from relationship trauma is possible. With time, support, and commitment to your well-being, you can heal and build a healthier, happier future.