Remember when you were dating? You put your best self forward, planned special dates, and maybe even did a little dance of excitement when you knew you’d see him.
Then, somewhere between “I do” and “Can you please take out the trash,” the romance faded a little. Rekindling your Eros love style can help reignite the spark.
If you feel like the spark has dimmed in your marriage, you aren’t alone. Life gets busy, and focusing on romance can fall to the bottom of the to-do list. However, romance isn’t just for the honeymoon phase. It’s an ongoing effort that keeps you and your husband connected.
Romance isn’t about expensive gifts or over-the-top gestures (though those are nice sometimes, too!). It’s more about thoughtfulness, affection, and showing your husband you care. It’s about understanding his needs and expressing your love in ways that speak to him.
Ready to bring back the spark? Here are 10 ways to romance your husband that are simple, effective, and easy to incorporate into your daily life. These small actions can have a big impact on your relationship.
Speak His Love Language
Everyone expresses and receives love differently. Understanding how your husband best gives and receives love is key to romancing him.
The five “love languages” are:
- words of affirmation
- acts of service
- receiving gifts
- quality time
- physical touch
What makes your husband feel most loved and appreciated? What does he do to show you love? If you’re not sure, ask him. Or just pay attention to how he reacts when you express your affection in different ways.
Then, tailor your romantic gestures to his particular love language. A gift for a guy who values quality time might not hit the mark, but an evening of focused conversation definitely will.
Words of Affirmation: Building Him Up
Don’t underestimate the power of positive words and encouragement! Men, just like women, thrive when they hear positive feedback and expressions of appreciation. When you tell him what you appreciate about him, it boosts his confidence and makes him feel loved and valued. Consider using deep loveable words for your husband on these occasions.
Instead of general praise, try to give specific compliments. Instead of saying “You’re great,” try “I really appreciate how you always take the time to listen to me after a long day.” Focus on his strengths, his accomplishments, and the qualities you admire most.
You can also leave handwritten notes or send loving text messages. Write a quick “I love you” on a napkin he’ll find in his lunch, or send a text message telling him how much you appreciate him.
Acts of Service: Showing Love Through Actions
What tasks or chores does your husband dislike or find stressful? Take note of his daily routine. Where can you lighten his load? You could even try asking him directly which tasks he’d appreciate help with.
Often, small gestures can make a big difference. Make his favorite meal. Do his laundry. Run errands for him. These little things show him that you’re thinking of him and care about his well-being. They also show that you want to make his life a little easier.
How about pampering him? Give his feet a massage. Draw him a relaxing bath at the end of a long day. These acts of service can speak volumes.
Quality Time: Uninterrupted Connection
In the bustle of daily life, carving out quality time for each other can feel like a luxury, but it’s a vital ingredient for keeping the spark alive. Here’s how to make it happen:
Dedicated Time Together
- Prioritize Time: Treat date night like a non-negotiable appointment. Schedule it, protect it, and make it a priority. Even a few hours a week can make a difference.
- Shared Activities: Ditch the dinner-and-a-movie rut and try something new. Go for a hike, take a dance class, or volunteer together. The key is to find activities that you both enjoy and that foster connection.
Active Listening
- Attentive Listening: When your husband is talking, truly listen. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and focus on what he’s saying.
- Empathy: Show him that you understand his feelings, even if you don’t agree with him. A simple, “That sounds really tough,” can go a long way.
Physical Touch: Expressing Affection
Never underestimate the power of physical intimacy! Touching expresses love and strengthens the bond between you and your husband. It doesn’t have to be sexual; simple gestures like holding hands, cuddling on the couch, or a quick hug go a long way.
Incorporate non-sexual touch into your daily routines. Hold his hand on a walk, snuggle up while watching a movie, or give him a long hug before he leaves for work. These little things make a big difference.
And don’t forget kissing! A passionate kiss before work, a sweet kiss to wake him up—these are simple but powerful ways to show your love and affection.
Keep things exciting: Surprise and spontaneity
When you’re in a long-term relationship, it can be easy to get stuck in a rut. Try to inject an element of the unexpected to keep the romance alive.
Unexpected gestures
Small, unexpected gestures can be a great way to show your husband that you’re thinking of him. Bring him his favorite coffee, leave a small gift on his desk, or send him a meme that makes you think of him.
You could also perform random acts of kindness, like doing a chore he’s been putting off, leaving a love note in his lunchbox, or surprising him with a home-cooked meal.
Spontaneous adventures
Break out of your routine and try new things together. Plan a spontaneous weekend getaway, go on a hike, or try a new restaurant. New adventures can create excitement and strengthen your bond.
If you’re feeling particularly playful, you could even “kidnap” him by blindfolding him and taking him to a romantic location.
Respect and Appreciation: Showing Value
Even when you disagree, it’s important to communicate respectfully. Avoid name-calling, criticism, and other disrespectful behaviors. Try to really hear what he’s saying and understand his point of view.
Also, be sure to express your gratitude for all he does for you, the relationship, and your family. Thank him for his hard work, his support, and his love. Let him know you see and appreciate everything he does.
Finally, avoid nagging. No one likes to be nagged. And resist the urge to say, “I told you so.”
Spiritual Connection: Sharing Faith
If faith is important to both you and your husband, sharing spiritual values and beliefs can deepen your connection.
Try making time to pray together, read scripture, or attend religious services. Sharing your faith can strengthen your bond and provide a sense of shared purpose that you both enjoy.
Simple acts of faith you can do together include:
- Handwriting a favorite Bible verse for him
- Praying together before meals or before bed
These small gestures can be powerful expressions of love and commitment.
Open Communication: Understanding His Needs
Sometimes, the best way to know what your husband wants is to simply ask him! What makes him feel loved and appreciated? What does romance look like to him?
Don’t assume you know the answers. Ask him directly.
Then, really listen to his response. Pay attention to his words, his body language, and the tone of his voice. Try to understand his perspective and his needs. Put yourself in his shoes.
Also, keep in mind that relationships evolve. What he needed or wanted five years ago might not be what he needs or wants today. Stay open to trying new things and adapting your approach to romance as both of you change and grow.
The Bottom Line
Romance isn’t a one-time thing; it’s a journey. It takes work, communication, and a willingness to change and grow together. The ideas we’ve explored here are a starting point, but the most important thing is to tailor them to your specific relationship.
Prioritizing romance leads to a stronger, more fulfilling, and longer-lasting marriage — one filled with love, laughter, and a deep connection.
Start small, be consistent, and focus on showing your husband that you love and appreciate him. Even little things can make a big difference in the long run.